Rich and I went with some friends to a Colorado Rockies game this past Friday.  It was a great game, and the Rockies won 10-8.  We stayed until the end of the 7th inning where all the action happened.  The Rockies were down with two outs, bases loaded, and the next batter hit a home run – grand slam!  And Taco Bell has a deal out here where if the Rockies score at least 7 runs in a game, they offer 2 for a $1 tacos with your Rockies ticket.

So, Rich and Adelle got tacos for dinner Saturday night.  And tacos are spicy, they have lettuce, and they come in a hard corn tortilla shell, all things Adelle usually turns her nose up at.  Rich and I were very surprised when she downed THREE tacos for dinner!  Maybe we should get Taco Bell more often?!  Yeah, right…

Adelle has mentioned several times recently that she wants to be a doctor.  She enjoys gathering random items from around the house to be used for her doctor equipment (stethoscope, thermometer, tongue depressor, etc).  And she really enjoys playing with the play doctor equipment at Grandma and Grandpa Grish’s (we got to visit a couple weeks ago).

On Wednesday this past week, Adelle decided to play doctor.  I was curious to find out what equipment she would be using this time.  She was holding on to her play tool box complete with hammer, saw, screwdriver, etc.  I was instructed to lie on the couch while she checked the baby out.  I wasn’t sure what to think when she pulled out the saw and said she would be cutting my stomach open.  She told me that she wanted to cut me open, pull the baby out to check it, put the baby back in, then hammer me back together again.  I tried to explain that doctors normally use an ultrasound machine to look at the new baby, but there was no convincing her that the saw wasn’t necessary.  So, she “cut” me open with the saw to check out the baby then used the hammer to put me back together.  Should I be concerned??

I think there may be no better time to start a weightloss program then immediately following a sickness like the flu. And the best time would be after a really bad stomach flu…the kind that involves losing 5-lbs in 3 days. Symptoms may include all those with feeling completely miserable, especially those that deal mainly with inability to retain…um…bodily fluids.

As you may have deduced, we have been sick this week. I believe some disease carrying child infected Adelle at church. Adelle then hugged and kissed me goodnight and then I took Tuesday, part of Wednesday, and part of Thursday off work to recover. Karen, using the power of green (i.e. smells like dirt) smoothies, stayed the virus from knocking her down until Wednesday night.

There are many excellent places to start an Illness Based Weightloss Program (IBWP – google-ing this brings no hits, so this is original and I have just coined this phrase and now own it!…that may turn out to be a bad thing…) The local church primary and/or nursery is one such place and may be conveniently visited while dropping your child off. This may seem like a radical approach to weightloss and it is exactly that. This system is for people genuinely committed…committed to shedding pounds that is. A quick 5-lbs weightloss is just what many people need to get started.

For those that are more ambitious and energetic, I recommend visiting hospitals to start this plan…emergency rooms are especially good during the winter months for finding willing suppliers of infectious diseases and viruses. Illnesses from hospitals can greatly increase that initial loss from 5-lbs to 25-lbs and maybe 50-lbs if you hit the jackpot.

My birthday was several weeks ago, and Rich and Adelle took me out to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner (which was excellent).  Rich also brought me home a dozen red roses which were beautiful, and Adelle asked to smell them almost every day.  Well, we definitely don’t splurge like this every year, but Rich also purchased tickets to the Michael Buble concert here in Denver.  Rich and I have seen him once before in concert a few years back (we went with Jen & Scott).  The concert here was at the end of March, and it was excellent!  Definitely a treat – we only go to concerts about once every three years…

During the Christmas vacation, Karen and I had plenty of time to relax and enjoy life as well as get caught up on sleep we missed during the previous year. Unfortunately, we instead chose to stay up past midnight most nights and inflict mental punishment on ourselves by watching a series horrible 80's movies that I thought were AWESOME when I was younger.  Several of those movies were: Ice Pirates, North Avenue Irregulars, and Lady Hawke.  For no apparent reason, I decided to watch these movies and Karen willingly watched as well.  If you have seen any of these, it is quickly apparent that my judgment of movie quality was sorely lacking at 6 years of age.  In retrospect, a story [Ice Pirates] of their being pirates in space that rob and plunder for ice while fighting with swords is ridiculous and not sound.  Without pausing to actually consider the title of the movie, we watched it and that is 120 minutes of my life I will never have back.  Those minutes were COMPLETELY wasted.

After one of the nightly torture sessions, we started listing the various 80's movies we’ve seen and thought were awesome, but should probably avoid watching ever again.  We mentioned: Cool As Ice, ANY of the Herby the Love Bug movies, Condor Man, Krull, Rad, Dune, and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure as well as its sequel.  After mentioning Bill & Ted’s, Karen exclaimed, “That movie changed my dad’s life!”  It turns out that this movie is responsible for ushering in the era of hip vocabulary to the Grish household.  It shifted the Grish’s from mundane 70's words such as “drat,” “shucks,” “fiddle sticks” to the trendy 80's slang  words: “dude,” “awesome,” and “excellent.”  I believe that this phenomenon didn’t just occur in the Grish household, but in much of Middle America.  I watched the movie almost every day during the summer break until it mysteriously disappeared.  I think my mom must have “accidentally” thrown it away like I recently did with one of Adelle’s most annoying toys.  Fortunately, due to that summer long training, I was able to quote nearly the whole movie during a special movie day at school in the fall!  Though a horrible actor, Keanu Reeves’ performance in this movie has had a profound effect on society by causing devastation of the American vocabulary for over 2 decades.

It’s been nearly a month since Christmas and my body sugar levels have dropped substantially and are now halfway between “Jittery” and “Calm.”  I firmly believe that corporate America pushes chocolate during Christmas because it combines two great productivity boosting ingredients: sugar and caffeine.  The Christmas season was really special this year.  I was off for 18 consecutive days and managed to go to sleep by midnight only 4 times.  Additionally, I AMAZINGLY receive only one article of clothing this year…a coat from my mom.  I didn’t get socks, shirts, pants, underwear, hat, shoes, or a belt.  However, Adelle did receive some pink pajamas that have a VERY noticeable resemblance of the Ralphy’s bunny-suit in the Christmas Story.

Adelle turned 2 on December 29 and that means she was actually able to appreciate and enjoy Christmas…and enjoy it she did.  She had her first, second, and 18th sugar high during the vacation..one for every day I was at home.  Karen relented on curbing Adelle’s sugar intake and I proceeded to fuel the fire.  By December 27, Adelle was saying, “I need a cookie to feel good.”

On another note, I’ve been looking for ways to boost my productivity now that the effects of chocolate are starting to wear off.  I’ve found the book Upgrade Your Life to be an excellent productivity boost.  The book is a major award I won for submitting a suggestion to www.lifehacker.com .  If you don’t feel like spending $25 for the book, there is a companion website to the book at www.lifehackerbook.com and is a condensed version of the book.

Nearly every night, I help Karen get Adelle ready for bed.  I have even managed to put her to sleep all by myself several times.  I often select the pajamas Adelle sleeps in, but have found it VERY difficult to find the right outfit for warm summer nights (80 F) caused by the heat wave that has pleagued the Bay area in recent weeks.  After mulling the problem over, I hit upon the solution several days later while folding one of Adelle’s 30 pink bunny-suits.

Ever since I folded Karen’s clothing for the first time after getting married, I have inwardly thought and outwardly expressed several times that Karen wears “midget clothing”…bruised arms quickly taught me not to vocalize similar thoughts.  When I held one of Karen’s teeshirts up to my chest, it was the size of the logo on my shirt.  In short…her shirts are REALLY small.

Well…I’ve started getting mixed up while folding Karen’s and Adelle’s shirts.  However, the solution to my “outfit selection issue” was solved when I realized that Karen’s shirts are longer than Adelle’s and would fit PERFECTLY as night shirts.  Karen had a good laugh when she saw Adelle walk in for the first time wearing a slightly large teeshirt.  However, I’ve been warned “not to let it happen again.”  Unfortunately for Adelle, I am going to head her mom’s warning.  HOWEVER…some of Adelle’s shirts might just “wander” into Karen’s drawer…that will be a funny site!

Nearly every night for the past 841 days, my bed has asked the same question, “Why have you waited sooooo long to lay down?”  My body has consistently responded (while melting into the soft, wonderful memory foam), “Because I am stupid.”

I wake at 5:30 AM, Monday through Friday, at 7:30 AM on Saturday, and 6:00 AM on Sunday.  This means that I NEED to be asleep by 10:15 PM so that I can get at least 7 hours of sleep.  However, here’s a sample of what normally happens:

09:40:00 PM – cell phone alarm signals that I need to get ready for sleep
09:40:01 PM – I angrily turn it off and ignore the warning
09:50:00 PM – I mention to Karen we need to get ready for sleep
09:50:30 PM – I remember something I “need” to do and start working on it
10:15:00 PM – I should be in bed with my eyes closed
10:20:00 PM – Karen mentions to me that we need to get ready for sleep
10:30:00 PM – “AGH!!!  IT’S 10:30!!!  WE NEED TO SLEEP” one of us gasps
10:31:00 PM – Karen shuts off her computer
10:40:00 PM – I finally shut off my computer
10:43:00 PM – I turn my computer back on to do something else
11:15:00 PM – Karen and I are chatting in bed
11:16:00 PM – I get up and write a post-it note reminding me of something else
Sometime later – I finally fall asleep

Ugh…this happens WAY too often and 5:30 AM comes WAY too fast.  Last night and once again, my body responded, “Because I am stupid.”

This past week, Karen, Adelle, and I made a “quick trip” down to L.A.  By quick trip, I mean that we left on Tuesday morning and returned on Thursday evening.  However, the drive each direction is 6 hours and is NOT quick…especially with a little girl that likes to scream when she’s “all done” riding in the car.  Anyway, Karen’s sister and family who were in town for a business conference.  Since it has been ~2 years since we saw them last, Karen was insistent that we go.

We stayed with Karen’s aunt that lives in ~10 miles north of L.A. and it is this aunt who bought a copy of BBC series “Cranford” for Karen and her sister.  Now, I’ve done many stupid things in my life, but the most recent blunder I made is giving Karen the choice of watching Cranford or going to sleep.  Of course, we watched the movie…what woman could resist watching a sappy BBC movie similar to Pride and Prejudice just for some petty sleep?  Unfortunately, we started watching at 11:45 PM.  Unfortunately, we didn’t get to sleep until 2:00 AM.  Unfortunately, Adelle likes to wake up at 7:00 AM.  Unfortunately, there are another 4 HOURS LEFT OF THE MOVIE!  AGH!  To ensure that I am not the only man to suffer through the agony of watching such films, I have recommended the show to my sisters in hopes they will force their husbands to watch.

Karen has recently developed a habit that has me very concerned…she spits on me. After the first time it happened, she proclaimed that she had never done anything like that before. We were eating Mac & Cheese and I told her that my vitamins don’t go in the freezer (I had just opened it up to stick them in without thinking). Next thing I know is I am picking chunks of macaroni off of my plate and shirt.

Later that night, I was telling her about something else (I don’t recall what) while she was brushing her teeth and then she spit toothpaste on me. Lastly, the exact same thing happened two nights ago and I had to toss my shirt in the hamper because it was covered in foamy paste.

What should I do about this issue? Honestly, I don’t mind that she spits on me, but I’m afraid that Adelle might start mimicking the habit or worse yet, a friend might get peppered by her spray. Have you or your spouse dealt with this issue? How did you resolve it? Am I overreacting or will this work itself out over time? Please help!